Breakthrough Moments Podcast → An Interview on Deliberate Decisions

[Music] and so one time I was working with a coach of mine uh a couple years ago about four years ago she asked me how well are you experiencing your own purpose because my purpose is to create a world meaning the conditions in which all people love their lives and I said well there’s only two things I’m not loving about my life right now and one of them is I just want to lose some weight but the other one is I can’t stand prospecting for customer and I and I feel like I’m expected to do that I go and do all these Keynotes and uh meet with lots of people and I feel like I have to put it on myself to you know find out who are the qualified leads and she said to me if it is not causing you to love your life why don’t you fire yourself from that job the Breakthrough moments podcast equipping you with powerful lessons for professional success and personal freedom mistakes everyone makes them the question is will you let them limit your potential potential or make them a breakthrough moment we learn from experience perseverance and the wisdom of others get ready to hear from influential leaders as they share their own breakthrough moments here’s your host the mindset Catalyst Jeff kitech my guest is Judy Ryan she is a recognized change agent in culture transformation helping leaders navigate 21st century change listen to this and I was kind of stunned I was like fire myself from that job it just hadn’t occurred to me even though it’s what I teach I teach people to go inside and and ask what are you feeling and what do you want and to play that all the way through and so as soon as I realized I could I fired myself immediately I think the leadership mistake is discounting the WIS the check into to the wisdom I can’t even tell you how many times I have made decisions and regretted them because I knew better when I first thought about doing something when I am my own leader and I’m responsible enough to look inside and say what do you want and play that all the way through till I know what I’m accepting and what consequences I’m accepting positive or negative then that’s when I I live a life that I feel really good about and it seems to go so much better living that way so the mistake is not taking the time to check in and doing what I am sort of programmed to do instead so not check in just getting caught up with the doing and I would say getting caught up with the shoulding you know like I remember one time there was this very prestigious man who wanted me to partner with him and I really wanted to make it work but I knew from the very outset he did not have the same level of respect for women that I wanted and I kept kind of just pushing that away because of it his credentials and his connections and I knew at one point I knew I I just need to move out of this situation because I had known it from the very beginning but I ignored it and I think that is the leadership real leadership mistake most people make when they really look back while I didn’t pay attention to what I knew was true didn’t pay attention to what I knew was true I didn’t take time to check in uh so it it sounds like there’s a certain level of gut or leading within in in I feel this but I’m not I’m either not allowing myself to feel it I’m not stopping to ask myself if I feel it or if I feel it I’m not listening to it exact I’m dismissing some aspect of it or debating and even when we’re in debate with ourselves I know for me I need to slow down if I’m in debate with myself I need to slow down and work that through not just take the latest thing and debate in my head I feel like as I’m getting more and more involved in my work with and and even the size and shape of the customers I feel more clear that that’s how I best help them is when I’m completely in my intuition and it seems to happen much better when I’m working for someone else’s benefit than sometimes when I’m working for my own benefit how did that impact your business or how did that impact You by by not checking in with yourself and not listening to your intuition I will say for myself it hurts me on all levels of my life because when something’s out of alignment it’s sort of like having your back thrown out if your back is thrown out you know that it’s going to affect the way you sleep it’s going to affect the way you feel when you’re up and moving and I and I feel that same way about our leadership alignment being out of whack and how everything is connected like I remember I went on a date a couple years ago and this person was a superintendent of a school district very intelligent very interesting person and he completely whined and dined me you know got all the box seats and all this stuff but by the end of the night I could tell he was leading up to asking me for another date and I said hey am I reading you right that you’re leading up to asking me for another date and he said well yes and I said I just want you to know you’re an awesome person I’m so grateful for everything you gave me tonight um but I can tell you right now there’s a thing missing between us that just won’t work for me it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you you’re an awesome person I um I can just tell there’s something that I want in this that isn’t there but we don’t really need to even talk about it and he said well would you mind telling me and I said not at all you know and I said I lived a lot of my life feeling kind of invisible when I was growing up and then I married a man whose family was very they never really said how are you and who are you and what’s happening or any of that and I said I’ve just lived a lot of my life feeling invisible and I know I don’t want that anymore going forward and I said while you’re a really really interesting guy you you didn’t ask me any questions unlike Jeff coack and um and he said oh my gosh and he goes well gosh let me just think about this for a minute I’m kind of over here in this column with your family of origin and your ex in-laws and I’d have to do a lot of work to get over on the other side and I said well yeah but you’re getting major brownie points right now just for having this conversation and he said well do you mind if I think about it and I said that’s fine and I left there on cloud because what I realized is I can trust myself to be myself and I don’t have to rip anyone apart or disrespect anyone to tell the truth and I think that’s also part of leadership is being yourself in a way that you don’t close your heart you don’t go to anger and Vengeance on people or judgment or criticizm in order to have your own life you know so I felt so good about that whole experience and that was even though that was a personal experience that translated into how I was in my work because I I started to have the muscle memory of trusting myself oh that’s good thank you for sharing [Music] that get a handle on stress in the work life Balancing Act Jeff kitech the mindset Catalyst empowers top performers to achieve more professional success in personal freedom he will equip you with tools and a mindset to self assess and course correct through life’s challenges offers individual coaching for business owners as well as organizations who want to improve their communication and productivity culture imagine the future discover the possibilities take bold action core

authenticity. so if we were to take the take the next step really clarify the the lesson that you learn going back to the conversation that you had with your coach uh when you realize that you could fire yourself and and and it would be freeing or you know as you realize that what was the lesson that you took away from that experience I think the biggest lesson and this has got to be important to business owners and employees is I felt that I gained optimal energy it’s all about how do you optimalized the people that you have working for you or how do you optimize yourself as the leader of an organization you have to be giving yourself the healthiest type of experience as you possibly can so that’s the impact ask yourself what am I feeling and what do I want and listen to the answers to that and consider everything that could come of that until the answer is so clear to you that it’s the final answer and then then you have an accountable ability to be accountable in your leadership so now how have you taken that lesson and and applied it moving forward um when I hire an in or I hire like a marketing firm or a business consultant I used to kind of give over my whole authority to them I used to give over my power to them and so now I I feel like I I hire slowly and fire quickly so that means I take my time to realize is this person a good fit um is this customer even a good fit I just had a friend call me the other day and say we want to have you be a chapter in our book because they’re getting 30 women together to write a book and I I went inside and said what are you feeling what do you want and it was I don’t want to do it and it didn’t even matter I mean I could give you all the reasons why but I could feel it even though I was so honored and I wanted to do it from a place of oh you should do that um so I just graciously said I really appreciate and I’m honored that you asked me but that’s not something I want to do right now and so that’s kind of how I apply it moving forward I I make my decisions more

deliberately hi my name is Judy Ryan and I’m the CEO of Life work systems find what makes you happy find the people that make you happy find the work that makes you happy do whatever you have to to do that because what it does is it creates an incredible amount of abundance within you to give to so many other people like Judy I can get caught up in the performance my focus can zero in on the work while I completely forget a few important business practices that help me to avoid burnout and prove my speed of growth and help me to maintain sustainability what do I forget I’ll tell you I can forget to come up for air and deep brief with myself taking an honest assessment of what’s going on I can turn a blind eye to red flags red flags that would be completely obvious if I was looking at someone else’s business and I can discount my gut intuition and throw away years of experience and knowledge Judy says that when we debate with ourselves we should slow down this makes so much sense stop gather information get clear then make a confident decision to move forward rather than running through walls riddled with doubt hoping for the best and running into all kinds of obstacles remember slow is fast optimize your people optimize yourself pay attention to what you know is true listen and give power to your inner voice thank you for listening and make sure to connect with Judy by phone email and on LinkedIn the Breakthrough moments podcast is a presentation of core authenticity providing powerful lessons in bite-sized episodes for more information about Jeff’s coaching Keynotes books or to hear additional podcast episodes visit core authenticity. comom schedule the conversation with Jeff today make the next moment your

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